We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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