when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Randomize
