Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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