Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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