i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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