Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
