I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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