He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
