his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize