HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
