I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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