Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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