If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
