Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
