Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
