Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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