dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
