let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
