WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
