So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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