that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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