i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
