Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
