Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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