What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
