yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
