home. puking in laundry basket.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
