I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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