Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize