He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
