I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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