Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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