Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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