Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
