I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
you made out with another girl for some wings
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
