your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My penis needs a shock collar
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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