sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
