My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
