He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
