I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
