He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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