Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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