If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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