I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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