Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
