anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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