Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
