I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
