shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
