Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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