just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
