We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
