I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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