Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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