well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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