I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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