brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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