I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
