how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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