Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
