Im at strip club and am horny
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
