a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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