Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
