if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
