You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
