Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
