So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He uses pillows to masturbate.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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