So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
