I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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