dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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