Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
